Question:
Deborah wrote:
I worry about how I am going to pay the rent, food, etc. How can I change this? How can I get rid of this addiction to worry? Sometimes nothing at all happens, I look and nothing turns out but the days keep passing by and the next rent is due. How do you let go of these material necessities, when you have the responsibility of a child?
Answer:
I am sure this plea finds an echo in the hearts and minds of most people who might read this. If we don't worry about income there are plenty of other things to worry about! There's our health, our relationships, our children's education, etc.
Yet I have to tell you that all that worry is very destructive for our subtle bodies, and a great hindrance on the Path! I'll have to put it crudely: worry blocks out the Light.
What is the purpose of the human being? What is his reason for existence?
The human personality is meant to be an instrument for the Soul to carry out its work. The Spirit expresses itself in the (original) Soul, and so the human being in effect is an instrument for executing God's Plan.
It won't take you long to work out that the human being on earth today is hardly a tool of God's Plan!
Going the Path of Liberation in effect means
- the rebirth of the original Soul;
- the purification and transmutation of the human being (the "personality") while the Soul grows and matures;
- the descent of the Spirit into the Soul (the alchemical wedding);
- the transfiguration of the personality into Gold.
This process requires a totally new attitude of mind. It requires an utterly new way of seeing ourselves, our purpose, our constitution. We have to see ourselves as the instrument, the tool of the new Soul.
At the moment the personality is like a horse pulling a coach without a driver or a passenger. In effect this coach is not getting anywhere because there's no driver, and even if it is, it's no use to anyone, because there's no passenger.
If we can use this rather crude analogy, then the personality is the horse and coach, the driver is the soul, and the passenger is the Spirit. To make it more relevant let's say the passenger is the King on his way through the kingdom to tend to his work of compassion and justice.
A coach that is just running around the countryside without a driver isn't going to last very long is it? It will constantly run into things, and have all sorts of accidents, especially with all the billions of other driver-less coaches. In other words: death overtakes us and we keep coming back for more pointless joyrides.
How different it is when the Soul takes the reins! He is an expert at handling the horse and he knows what to do to avoid danger. He will make sure his beloved horse is fed and rested, and will seek out inns for safe stables and delicious hay. He knows how important the King's duties are, and will make absolutely sure nothing can happen to impede the King's progress through his kingdom. He takes enormous pleasure in his work, and knows exactly what the King wants and how to get to where he needs to go.
And so the path is really the transformation from a dilapidated coach with a stampeding horse to a royal carriage, made of solid gold, with the best possible horse, a driver who is the best in the kingdom, and the King himself, in person, visiting every corner of the kingdom on missions of goodness and mercy.
I hope it is obvious from that analogy that when the Soul rules the personality, he will look after it and treat it with extreme care and love. In such a state it would be impossible for the personality to worry about anything.
However none of us have reached that stage, and so we need to look at things in the beginning of the conversion from driver-less coach to royal golden carriage.
In the beginning there is only the coach, the horse, and the bud of the Lily. The Soul hasn't been born yet; it is dormant but fortunately there is a faint sign of waking up. The personality is looking for a driver, but is still going around bumping into things.
As I said before, this process requires a totally new attitude of mind. It requires an utterly new way of seeing ourselves, our purpose, our constitution. We have to see ourselves as the instrument, the tool of the new Soul, even when it hasn't been born yet. Even in its unborn state, as long as the thirst for God is there, it is our Master, our Inner God. For the thirst attracts the Light, and the Light will start its work of transmutation. As long as we make this our one and only goal in life, making all other things secondary, we can start the work of self surrender, the third step in the Fivefold Universal Gnosis.
And if we can practise self surrender to the Light that wants to make a home in us, we can stop worrying about anything.
The horse can stop its mad bolting and slow down to a steady trot. There is no driver yet, but it feels the voice of the Master in its head, calming it down, giving it confidence that things are going to be OK.
This is faith. When faith is born, there is an inner certainty that we're not alone; that there is a force in us that cares about us, and will steer us in the right direction.
The immortal couch driver does not use force. He clicks his tongue and tells you where to go. He does not use the whip. He never gets impatient and never hurries you. His yoke is easy and his burden is light.
In fact he will never force himself upon you. You have to invite Him, time and again. If you run off into a direction chosen by you instead of Him, He will let you go, and you have to invite Him back again, a hundred times, no, a thousand times (for we're all stubborn mules really). Self surrender is offering him the reins, with a deep, intense inner longing and a realisation of total helplessness in finding your own directions.
You can use prayer on the Path, but NEVER to ask. On the Path, prayer is GIVING. It is dangerous to write down a prayer here, because some people will copy it and use it as a formula or a mantra to repeat as a magic tool for getting what they want. The idea is to develop your own praying as a heartfelt cry to offer your whole being to God. Give Him everything. Give Him your heart, your mind, your soul. Give Him your hands; give Him your life in sacrifice. Give Him every moment of your time, every cell of your body, every part of your brain. And don't expect anything in return. Don't do it with a thought that you'll feel good when the Light enters you. Don't do it expecting the Father to come rushing to you and throw his arms around you, and prepare the fatted calf. Do it not because you want the Light, or God, but do it because you NEED God, with every fibre of your being, in intense realisation that you can't live without Him, that every second you live without Him is sheer agony.